Gamergate refuses to release hostages

It’s been a tense week to say the least. Ever since the standoff between the forces of #Gamergate and the NYPD, the public has been demanding an end to the crisis. For those of you living under a rock, last week, #Gamergate activists armed with AK47s stormed a local mall in Midtown Manhattan, completely seizing a Gamestop, an Applebees, and a women’s rights store.

No male hostages were harmed. Actually, all male hostages were given a hundred-dollar bill as a means of apology and inconvenience and a pat on the back. Even the Jews. The women, however, did not meet similar treatment.

For over the entire course of last week, fifty-five women have been trapped inside the mall, and police say that people are getting antsy. Three times now, SWAT teams have attempted to breach the building and rescue the hostages, but they were unsuccessful all three times. Police Commissioner Gordon had the following to say.

“We’re dealing with gamers here,” he explained to us over the phone. “They’ve run these kinds of scenarios hundreds of times from their mothers’ basements. They planted landmines and c4 charges, taking out all three teams.”

There’s no word yet as to when we can expect a resolution to this developing hostage crisis.

“People of the world,” one #Gamergate activist said, firing several rounds of his AK47 into the ceiling. “We are #Gamergate. And we will not stop until we get what we want—ethics in video-game journalism…and SJWs maybe. Not sure. We’re still working that part out.”

Indeed, the situation is frightening, and no one knows what will happen next. We’re all just hoping this doesn’t end like the last #Gamergate hostage crisis, in which over nine-thousand women were executed in warm blood.

I’m Kevin Weinberg, and this has been your Kotawker News morning report.