BREAKING NEWS: The Ghost of Christmas Past arrested for harassment!
It’s not easy being a womyn in today’s male-dominated patriarchal society. We here at Kotawker News understand that better than anywom! So it should come as no surprise that, once again, a woman has been harassment-raped by a male-privileged ghost.
Early Monday morning, a feminist by the name of Gloria H. Fatvagina was shocked to discover that an entity known as “The ghost of Christmas past” was following her around and giving her unsolicited life advice. Much like in the GamerGate controversy of 2014-2015, the feminist politely asked the ghost to stop harassing and stalking her, but the ghost continued to follow her around and warn her about where her life was going.
“He fat-shamed me,” Miss Fatvagina told us over satellite. “He said he could read into the future and see that I was destined for a heart attack. That’s not even just fat-shaming! It’s also future-shaming, future-spoiling, classist, sexist, misogynistic, racist, and promoted the hetero-normative idea that heart attacks are something “bad” and “to be ashamed of.”
We here at Kotawker News were so disgusted to hear of Miss Fatvagina’s treatment that we all experienced a second-hand trigger upon her gruesome, horrifying retelling of events. Apparently, after the harassment became so bad that Miss Fatvagina developed PTSD, she eventually called for the all-female ghostbusters team, who promptly took the ghost into custody and is now awaiting booking and processing.
I’m Kevin Weinberg, and this has been your Kotawker News morning report.
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